I can count the few great relationships I have and sometimes I wonder if that’s good or bad. Whether good or bad I believe at some point we must be completely truthful to ourselves. This is my truth. Whenever I’m for you I give 150%. If you need and I have, your good. This is also why I limit the amount of “friends”, I allow in my life. I don’t want to spread myself too thin. After all I’m married to my very best friend and that’s my #1 priority when it comes to relationships. The problem I notice when I have really close girlfriends is that they become jealous of other relationships and I don’t know how to rationalize all that emotion and so I back out. One of my longest relationship with my ex-best friend, ended because I felt that we not only grew apart, but she no longer was the person I knew and I wasn’t the friend she needed at the time. She wanted someone to tell her the lifestyle she lived was ok. That it was excusable and I can’t lie or pretend to the ones I love and so it began to quickly fizzle. She wasn’t capable of balancing her relationship with me while dating. She would only draw close to me when she was heartbroken and after awhile that just didn’t work for me. I love her dearly and she’ll always have a place in my heart, but I felt like I needed to let her go for her to really find herself. Needless to say if she ever calls, I’ll be right here. Another amazing friend of mine, which was kinda awkward when our friendship ended. For her I knew she loved me because she was there for tremendously when my now husband and I were dating and separated. She was my rock. However when we got back together her relationship with her boyfriend started to feel like a competition with what I was trying to build with mine. It became obvious that they were competing instead of us learning from each other. This definitely led me to start having the natural relationships I was quickly forming. All of which included folks at least 10yrs older than I am. Which are so normal and natural that age doesn’t play a role or becomes an issue. I do know having a relationship with Christ plays an important role in the key relationships I now have. With Christ in them theirs no limit. Because of their relationship with him, it allows me to grow even more and realize my bad qualities as a friend. These are obviously my sides of the story and I’m well aware that theirs might be different . I forgave. Now that I’m writing this I don’t think I’ve ever expressed these feelings completely to them and maybe that needs to be apart of my healing process to grow more has a better person. This letter all started because of a recent fall out with my sister, who because I’ve always been truthful and extremely vocal in voicing my feelings. Didn’t realize how much I was hurting her, even if I didn’t like the decisions she was making. Even if I felt she changed completely and wasn’t capable of balancing our friendship. I hurt her because sometimes, this I’m learning, as a friend sometimes you just need to listen, be a shoulder and more importantly sometimes you have to step AWAY. Give that person room to adjust. We aren’t going to have all the answers as friends. Even if I don’t understand her decision and I might never. But I need to step away, let go and allow the same God we both serve to work and repair. To restore. Now the hardest revelation is this. Restoring relationships may mean that they will never be the SAME! They might get better or even fade. But we aren’t God and should never judge, just love like Christ did. More importantly we need to PRAY. Pray for each other and the things you don’t like. Not to work in your favor, but that God will do what’s best. So has I embark on a journey to restore and let go, or continue to build these relationships. I will now focus on the most important one…my marriage and Praise God for his complete coverage of it.
Letting go and allowing Christ in every area of my life, ultimately all our relationships should bring him glory!😊😊😊😊😊👂👂👂👍👍👍👍✌✌✌✌☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝💜💜💜💜💜
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is .- James 5:16
HELLO FELLOW BLOGGERS…INTRODUCING MYSELF TO YOU GUYS…MY REFERENCE AS ALWAYS BEEN BUTTERFLY…I ALSO GO BY TARA….
BEING NATURAL WAS SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD DO..BUT 5 YEARS IN AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT…MY BLACK IS OH SO BEAUTIFUL…EMBRACE LIFE, LIVE LIFE, LOVE WHO YOU ARE…WE ARE ALL UNIQUELY CREATED BY CHRIST AND THERE’S NO ONE LIKE YOU…LOVE YOU AND ALLOW OTHERS TO LOVE YOU…
Married October 1, 2011 and was ready to file for a divorce by January 1, 2012. The first year of our marriage was spent living in separation. Divorces are painful, difficult and complicated, a divorce with a child involve is WAR.
God used this experience to teach me lessons that I will never forget, he tore our marriage to build it back it up with substance because we started on a foundation that was built on sand; doubts, hurt, pain from the past that rolled into our future, mistrust and insecurity which led to not being able to forgive past mistakes which blocks vulnerability and intimacy with each other.
Once I was hurt again by a past mistake, I shut down and harden my heart the very thing God asks us not to do, once I made up my mind that I had enough I shut out anything and anyone who told me anything other than to go through with my divorce.
After a year of struggle to get my divorce final, I was sitting in my living room one night when it came heavy on my heart to ask God what he wanted me to do and was he in agreement with my divorce and from that night on he sent me the answers each day it was like stop signs hitting me in the face how he responded to that question, Lol…he wanted me to work out my marriage and because that’s not what I wanted I started getting obsessed with my divorce me final as soon as possible but each time he would put a fork in the road to stop it and I finally opened my heart to The Lord and ask him to guide me in the way he’ll have me go and that he did. The first step was actually allow myself to be vulnerable enough to have a conversation with my husband and let him know the boundaries that will be in place and the steps that we would have to take in order to start over and by doing so we signed up for marriage counseling, this helped us to clearly communicate with understanding like never before which brought us to the realization that in order to build a strong foundation we had to first forgive each other and then Christ will do the rest. The counselor was only meant to push us in the right direction but not to be permanent. None should be given the middle man position in a marriage but Christ. That’s why a counselor should only be used as a start, a quick guide and giving Jesus his position as the third strand in the marriage.
It has been six months since my husband and i reunited and each day we take baby steps sometimes leaps and hurdles. One thing that’s for sure is that as long as Christ is first in both our lives we’ll keep progressing. With any relationship forgiveness is very important and has to be given often for the survival of that relationship, just think about how many times in one day God has to forgive us.
This weekend I’ve been celebrating my bday in Miami and I had a blast. Private helicopter tour, swimming with dolphins, holding baby gators and eating great vegetarian food. All things I had a fear of doing, yet through Christ my biggest lesson this year is actually believing that I can do absolutely all things through Christ who gives me strength and so that exactly how I’ve overcome all these fears I had. Plus Christ doesn’t embed in us a spirit of fear, but that of a sound mind. Ended last night at Joel Osteen Night of Hope and left feeling so inspired. I worship all the way home and began my 26th bday in worship and more closer to him than ever. I truly am incredibly grateful for God taking my story and making it bring glory to his name. For taking my shame and making it victorious. My mere birth was a miracle. I’ve learnt to forgive those who’ve hurt me along the way and forgive myself for hurting others. I’ve let go of the past and I’m holding on tight to the future. The joy of the Lord is my strength. Lord you’ve held my hands, carried me when I became too weak and made me your child from day one. I dedicate my entire life to you and it’s completely change me. I’m a different woman now because of your grace. You’ve took the worst of me and gave the best to me and with all I am, I’ll live to worship you. I praise you in advance for an abundant life to serve and honor you. Thanks for another incredible year of service to you. Thanks for blessing me with an incredible husband whose taken up his cross and his role has a husband and whose exceeded my expectations of what marriage would be when lived through you. All glory be to God.
Seems to be so much negative views, ideas and perspectives on what marriage is and how it should be. I love being married and I’m so happy that not only did God create this sacred covenant where he’s the head of, but he allow me to see other beautiful couples who have had successfully LOVE Only because they placed him first. I’m so grateful that God gave me a piece of his love here on earth. I love learning new ways to love my man each day.😍😍😍😍😘😘😚😚🙊💓💓💓💕💕💕💗💗💗💗💝💝💝💜💜💜💛💛💛💚💚💙💙💙💙💙💙💙👰👰👰👰👫👫👫💃💃💃
If God is for us and we are for him, then best believe there will be alot of people against us. It comes with the territory. Are you really ready to stand up for the King of all Kings? Are you ready to lay down your life? The blessings are plenty, but the trials come equally. Being a believer doesn’t mean your life becomes peaches and cream. It means you’ve given up self to take up the cross and follow Christ. Are you baring your cross without complaining, without doubt….God will never leave you nor will he forsake you. Your a child of the King and YOU can do ANYTHING! Be blessed.
But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.
For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. 21 For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. 22 But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better.