Married October 1, 2011 and was ready to file for a divorce by January 1, 2012. The first year of our marriage was spent living in separation. Divorces are painful, difficult and complicated, a divorce with a child involve is WAR.
God used this experience to teach me lessons that I will never forget, he tore our marriage to build it back it up with substance because we started on a foundation that was built on sand; doubts, hurt, pain from the past that rolled into our future, mistrust and insecurity which led to not being able to forgive past mistakes which blocks vulnerability and intimacy with each other.
Once I was hurt again by a past mistake, I shut down and harden my heart the very thing God asks us not to do, once I made up my mind that I had enough I shut out anything and anyone who told me anything other than to go through with my divorce.
After a year of struggle to get my divorce final, I was sitting in my living room one night when it came heavy on my heart to ask God what he wanted me to do and was he in agreement with my divorce and from that night on he sent me the answers each day it was like stop signs hitting me in the face how he responded to that question, Lol…he wanted me to work out my marriage and because that’s not what I wanted I started getting obsessed with my divorce me final as soon as possible but each time he would put a fork in the road to stop it and I finally opened my heart to The Lord and ask him to guide me in the way he’ll have me go and that he did. The first step was actually allow myself to be vulnerable enough to have a conversation with my husband and let him know the boundaries that will be in place and the steps that we would have to take in order to start over and by doing so we signed up for marriage counseling, this helped us to clearly communicate with understanding like never before which brought us to the realization that in order to build a strong foundation we had to first forgive each other and then Christ will do the rest. The counselor was only meant to push us in the right direction but not to be permanent. None should be given the middle man position in a marriage but Christ. That’s why a counselor should only be used as a start, a quick guide and giving Jesus his position as the third strand in the marriage.
It has been six months since my husband and i reunited and each day we take baby steps sometimes leaps and hurdles. One thing that’s for sure is that as long as Christ is first in both our lives we’ll keep progressing. With any relationship forgiveness is very important and has to be given often for the survival of that relationship, just think about how many times in one day God has to forgive us.